Sunday, March 23, 2014

Almost home

Here we are in the home stretch. 1 2days to be exact. This time I am actually allowed to broadcast the homecoming date without the worry of an OPSEC violation and hundreds of angry military wives storming my page because I am able to post an exact return date! Ahh it's nice not to be a military wife anymore! So yes 12 days to go and we are one big, whole happy family again!

I have been asked a lot these last few weeks about my feelings on it. Am I ready? Is he ready? Is he doing better? Do I think he is better? There have been tons of questions. At first they didn't bother me but now I get slightly overwhelmed at the thought of how much of a change this is going to be. I know its going to be a trial and error period of learning how to make us a cohesive family again.

Driving home tonight I looked at my oldest and said "It's going to be strange don't you think?" Sean looked at me for a second and I think he was thinking honestly of his response. We both have grown used to this life. It wasn't hard to get used to because chunks of his life has been spent with me being on my own and us doing our own. I think he has always like it that way. I mean don't get me wrong he loves Chris but of course he has his bond with his momma. However through these last few years the stepfather stepson bond has been a bit hard given all of these circumstances. However I think things will be going a lot smoother now.

I know I have grown used to doing everything on my own, except for when I truly need a second person to jump in since cloning has not been mastered or made legal to do yet! No I am not saying I don't want my husband home, it will just be strange to have another person in the home to count on to do things. However to lessen the burden I will hold my current responsibilities and let him just get reaquainted with home life and keep him to things that are low stress and easy to maintain. He is going to be a bit busy bonding with his H man when he comes home taking him to apts and therapy. That will be good for him. However he will have his own apts to keep up with. Plus school.

It will be strange having someone next to me in bed. Someone that isn't 3ft tall and is convinced that the bed is all his! It will be great to divide and conquer evening events such as trying to be two places at once. It will be nice to make dinner for more than two and not have so many leftovers that hardly get touched! It will really be nice to have some help tackling laundry and other household chores!

Looking back this time really doesn't seem as long as it has. This has been so full of ups and downs keeping me so busy I haven't had time to stop and dwell on much. I know in times of deployment they say keep busy it goes fast. Truly this is the case because it seems like just yesterday was November and we were just entering all this. I am in  a way glad this all happened. It really gave me time to see who I am, who we are, and what are made of. I pushed myself, and put myself out there in ways I never thought I would do. I saw people rally around us to show their utmost respect for what we are enduring. I have seen people turn their back and shy away for reasons I am not sure and its just ok with me. There were people who I had never met stand by our side and provide help in ways I had never dreamed. It does prove the military no matter what sticks together to help all.

He is almost home. The end is near. It is clearly in sight. April 5th is going to be a big day for us. He might have missed all the big holidays and events but having him home is all that matters. This year when we walk for our son in our Autism Walk there will be so much more behind it all. We will be walking as a family, a whole family. Our first event together as a whole family from when this all started. He will be home in time to celebrate Ella's birthday, Sean and Hannah's birthday also. While he missed mine its ok as long as he was home to be there to celebrate the kids birthdays. He will be home in time to see Sean graduate from middle school and prepare to embark on his first year of high school and in JROTC. I think JROTC is what is going to really help Chris and Sean bond and grow together.  That and Sean has stated he clearly wants to go to A&M so I think that sealed the deal.

I guess now that this is almost over. I need to go back and finish the two blogs I started but got too distracted or too emotional to complete without getting sad or angry. I will of course continue to write about our journey once he is home and our lives are back on track. I think keeping up with the progress will be a great thing for those going through this to see. It is possible and we are going to prove it.